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Elizabeth's avatar

Hi Sarah! I love that you are asking us to think about this - perfectionism and writing and overcoming. I have struggling with this for as long as I dipped my toe in writing for children. For me, there is something about creative writing that can cause fear and panic. -While I am sure I was the same perfectionist as a college student (undergrad/grad) there were parameters and metrics and models available that allowed the perfectionism to have a clear road map for success. Give me a rubric and I will deliver above and beyond. :)

I do feel that I used to have the ability to write more freely - until I learned that there were 'rules' about what makes writing good to great. That's when the panic set in. How would I ever really know?!

A few years ago I posed this exact question to writers in the 12x12 FB group and got oodles of suggestions however, one stood out - if this was a real problem that was getting in the way of my goals, this writer said, consider therapy. I didn't want therapy - I wanted to write! Fast forward to today, I am 4 years into therapy and ooh, la, la! Yes, indeed these roots run deep and there has been a lot to untangle. So - for some of us who really struggle - there could be something underneath it all that won't be solved implementing all the best suggestions so lovingly offered.

That being said, I have never stopped trying to find my way in and out and around and under this obstacle to getting my writing done. (However, I have far more ½ finished projects than finished - another issue I am working on!) Writing the sh*&^y first draft is language that paralyzes me - but I have embraced what Kirsten Larson calls 'the kitchen sink draft'. I am trying to develop my 'finish it' muscle which does help with the letting go of getting each word right so that I can type 'The End'. 'Play', for me, needs to have a purpose or a time limit - so, maybe I say to myself - On Monday morning I will spend 1 hour penning a letter to/from my MC to discover X. I have found that many of the exploratory suggestions that are 'side' writing often work better for CBs or MGs - longer form. I do find many of them not quite right for PBs, imo.

Recently I revisited Jeff Tweedy's How To Write One Song, and really enjoyed some of his 'play' suggestions. Although I've let it lapse recently, writing haiku (nature based, inspired by a photo) every week/day has really helped me to remind myself of my creative self even when I am not feeling very positive with my 'book writing'. Delving into the creative processes of folks outside the literary world (e.g. artists, inventors, bakers, etc.) has helped me to understand that creative work is HARD and full of false starts and things that don't work but it's the 'doing the thing' that matters - and will provide the stepping stones to getting better at the craft.

Finally, I recently came across this quote in 'Writing Poetry From the Inside Out' by S. Lyne (recommended by Phyllis Root in a class I recently took with her): 'When I think about it, the happiest, most successful, most fulfilled people I know are the ones who, over time, gave themselves the most permissions-- in all areas of their lives. Guided by the compass of an inner truth, the did not wait for others to tell them what it was okay to do, or wait for others to tell them which steps to take. Through trial and error, they learned how to experiment with their lives. And maybe this worth underscoring: The best writers give themselves the most permissions. The happiest, most fulfilled people give themselves the most permissions. The two go hand in hand."

I know this is long but I gave myself permission to open up ... :)

x

Beth

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Patricia Hruby Powell's avatar

wonderful entry. And I love your art, Srah. Bravo.

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